Lordy, Lordy!

For starters, let's put a comma between 'Lordy Lordy,' as it is repeated multiple times.  Now that we've got that straightened out, let's look at the second line, where a flagrant error is. 'Look whose 40' should read 'Look who's 40.'   'Whose' is possessive, but there is nothing to possess here.   

Submitted by an 8th grader

"Put your comma in it!"

Instead of just putting your heart in it, put your comma in it...  'it' being your quotation marks.  In most cases, punctuation marks need to go INSIDE the quotation marks.  This is almost always the case with periods and commas.  And though I'm not familiar with the subject of this poem, I think the poet may mean 'bawl,' or to cry, instead of 'ball'?

Submitted by a 7th grader